Did God Fail You?

Disappointment with God can quietly change how we pray, hope, and trust, especially when life turns out nothing like we pictured. I walk through why that tension happens and how faith can mature until it stays anchored even when outcomes hurt.

• disappointment that makes us hesitant to pray again 
• Thomas saying “I will not believe” as self-protection after pain 
• the expectations gap that drives people toward deconstruction 
• Jonah’s anger when God spares Nineveh 
• the root issue being the story we build around God’s words 
• Romans 8:28 as promise without guaranteeing our preferred outcome 
• a personal story of a job rejection that later looks like protection 
• “even if he does not” faith from Daniel 3 
• Job and trust without a full explanation 
• practical steps to manage expectations, leave room for mystery, keep your heart open 
• a closing prayer for healing of heart and mindset 

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Transcript

Welcome And The Hard Question

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Light of Life podcast. I'm your host, Ritendo. Thank you so much for joining me today. We have a very interesting topic today. And if you are a believer or you are seeking a relationship with God, most likely you've come across situations of disappointment in your walk with God. Yes. Have you ever been disappointed in God? I want you to reflect a little bit because many believers are struggling in silence with disappointment. And some people try to hide and they say, I'm disappointed in the church, but their real disappointment is toward God. And that's very real. And many times people feel guilty for admitting it, but we're psychological beings. And remember, he is all-knowing. So there's nothing about you that he had not considered or that he didn't know before he chose you. So might as well come out in the open and admit it and say, Lord, I'm disappointed. And then that's when the true maturity in faith begins to happen. So in this episode, we're going to explore how to navigate that tension right there, that unmet expectation in your journey of faith and where disappointment fits. You may ask, is there a resolution? There is. And if you keep on listening, we're going to break it all down. If you're new to this podcast, welcome. And thank you to all our returning listeners, our returning subscribers. This podcast exists to paint a realistic, honest, and grounded picture of what it means to walk with God daily. Beyond performance and appearances and religion, we talk about faith as it unfolds in real life because a relationship with God, in all honesty, is not lived in theory, it's lived in reality. And that's what we discuss here every time. Let's delve into today's topic.

When Disappointment Silences Prayer

SPEAKER_01 2:19

I mentioned before that many believers are facing this challenge of disappointment towards God. And I'm not talking about small disappointments here. I mean the kind that make you, they leave you not wanting to pray afterwards. They alter the way you pray. We're being real, the kind that make you quieter and more careful and makes you think, oh my God, let me, you know, you hesitate before hoping too deeply again in faith in God, in in Christianity, in the church. Maybe you believe God was going to maybe save your relationship and it still ended. Maybe you were certain, you were positive that he was going to heal your loved one, and that person still died. You obeyed him in trust and did everything that you thought you were supposed to do. And somehow, despite all the obedience, life still unfolded in a way that left you confused.

Thomas And The Refusal To Hope

SPEAKER_01 3:27

There's a statement that Thomas, the one that we affectionately called the doubting Thomas, he made this statement in the book of John after Jesus had been raised from the dead, and the disciples were telling him, The Lord came. He said a very famous statement that resulted in him gaining the name, doubting Thomas. He said, I will not believe. And a lot of people took that as he didn't believe that Jesus had the power to come back from the dead. And what strikes me in that scripture is he didn't say, I don't believe. He said, I will not. Almost like something in him had decided, I cannot afford to trust this Jesus of yours anymore. We just watched him crucified after he had raised our faith, doing all these miracles and promising us a new life and this and making us his disciples, he dies. He actually goes ahead and dies. And Thomas, after that disappointment, he said, I will not. I refuse to believe because I don't want to hope anymore and be disappointed. And many believers, we are in those shoes, we're in that predicament right now. So today, I want us to talk about that disappointment. Honestly, don't be afraid. Your pastor or your bishop is not here. And we're just having a conversation. Let's talk about all your unanswered questions. And I also want you to understand the sovereignty of God through this. How you keep walking with him, even when his ways don't make sense to you. He said, My ways are not your ways. So that means at some point you need to make peace with that. Lisa Fields, who is the founder of an organization called the Jude 3 Project, had an interview with Christianity today.

Deconstruction And The Expectations Gap

SPEAKER_01 5:27

And it's so interesting they were talking about navigating frustrations with God and fellow believers. But I want to really focus more on the frustration with God. I think the frustration with believers and the church will save it for another uh episode. I'll note that down. But her findings indicated that many people were leaving church because of their personal disappointment with God. When the gap between what they believed was going to happen and what they actually experienced, they failed to reconcile that gap. That was a huge driving force in people leaving the church. She also observed a phenomenon that she called deconstruction. According to Lisa, this is the process that involved tearing down previously held beliefs due to unanswered questions, intellectual doubts, or painful experiences. Deconstruction.

Jonah Gets Angry At Mercy

SPEAKER_01 6:31

If you read the Old Testament prophets, you'll find a minor prophet by the name of Jonah. He was a prophet from the nation of Israel who was sent by God to a place called Nineveh. If you're familiar with history, Israelite Jewish history, you know that Nineveh was a major city in the ancient kingdom of Assyria. And Assyria was one of the most ruthless enemies, superpowers of the time, and they were terrorizing Israel. So I know there's a story in Jonah chapter 1, chapter 2, where Jonah is initially sent by God and he disobeys, but I don't want to focus on that. So Jonah is sent by God initially and he goes a different direction. And then he's now sent a second time in chapter 3. It says, And the word of the Lord came unto Jonah a second time. Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it a message I give you. Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very large city. It took three days to go through it. Jonah began going a day's journey into the city, proclaiming, 40 more days, and Nineveh will be overthrown. Something happened after this, which is, I think it surprised Jonah, and it's very surprising to everyone, because these were ruthless, ruthless people. On verse 5, it says, The Ninevites believed God, and a fast was proclaimed. And all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. Now, this sackcloth was like a sign of humility, especially before God. And when Jonah's warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne and took off his royal robes and covered himself with sackcloth. And he sat down in the dust. And this is the proclamation he issued. And he said, By decree of the king and his nobles, do not let people, animals, herds, or flock taste anything. So he declared a fast throughout all of Nineveh. And of course, God, being merciful and understanding, he saw their repentance and he spared the city. Verse 10 says, When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented. Naturally, Jonah being a human being, though he was a prophet. Chapter 4 begins by saying, To Jonah, this seemed very wrong. And he became angry and he prayed to the Lord and he said, Isn't this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live. This is a very common occurrence in our walk with God. You can walk with God to a point where you feel like, yeah, we're close. Now we're close. We are close now, and I know him. And there seems to be a shaking almost every time when you get comfortable in your relationship with God. But I want you to know that Jonah was angry because number one, Assyria was a very fierce enemy of Israel. They were tired of being oppressed and the brutality that they faced. And he's thinking, how can you pardon the people that have caused Israel so much harm? And you know this. You have had people who have done bad things to you, people who have treated you so horribly. You have had enemies that the Lord kept on sparing. The people that abused you when you were a child lived into a ripe old age until their 90s. And some of them are still alive right now. I know this woman of God who was abused by her father, and her father died at an old age, and she actually had to take care of him. She said, The Lord told me to take care of him. That's the disappointment I'm talking about. The disappointment of Jonah was not only are you going to spare our enemies, now you're going to make me look like I'm a false prophet. I went and I proclaimed so boldly as you told me to. And look at now what's happening. You've decided to spare the city. Not only will they come after me, but I'm going to be a laughing stock to my own people because of my failed prophecy. That's disappointment right there. And when you express in modern-day Christianity that I feel disappointed, religious people will say to you, Shush, you need to hush, don't say that. But we have a prophet here who was authentic enough to say, Lord, I'm really frustrated. I'm so frustrated. And God communicated back to him. So you're in a relationship with God. You feel the way you feel. Don't try to pretend like you don't feel that way. If you're blindsided, say, Lord, I feel blindsided. If you're disappointed, say, Lord, I feel disappointed. That's the baby level right there of faith. But we're going somewhere. Stay with me. I want you to understand the real root of that disappointment. And when you understand it, you will see that this is where many disappointments in our walk with God happen.

The Real Root Of Disappointment

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Right here. Because it's not necessarily disappointment in what God promised you, in what God said, but you're disappointed in the expectation that you built in your head around what he said. I always say we're psychological beings. So whenever God promises you something, you start already imagining how he should answer, when he should answer, what the outcome should look like. And you disappoint yourself. It's not necessarily God disappointing you, but you built expectations of what he never said. Be very honest with yourself. God never promised your specific version, but it's your interpretation of what he said. As human beings, when a promise is made to you, you don't just hear a promise, you imagine the outcome. The moment you begin praying for something, you start constructing in your mind, you start imagining, whether consciously or unconsciously, the way we think God should respond is already laid out in our minds. You picture the timing, that resolution, oh my God, I'm going to be restored in this way. And you imagine the exact form that your breakthrough should take. And after a while of hoping and hoping and praying and travailing, that expectation becomes so real to you. You can almost taste it. You can, you can smell it, you can you can almost touch it. It's right in front of you. And that's so disappointing right there. If it unfolds differently, if life gives you something different than what you imagined, it feels as though maybe God Himself either lied or maybe he failed you, or you just feel disappointed in God Himself because you feel like, Lord, I was so sure, I was so positive that this was going to be the outcome. But remember, he never promised your version that you had in your head. He promised what I know if you read Romans 5.28, he said, all things work together for good for those that love God. That's a promise. But he didn't say bad things are not going to happen. He didn't say things are always going to come out your way. He just said all things. He didn't say only good things, only positive things, only easy things. He said all things, whether difficult, whether hard, whether painful, they will happen, but I will make sure that they work together for your good.

A Job Rejection That Saved Him

SPEAKER_01 15:07

I'll tell you my story. I think it was during COVID when businesses were going down and the economy was collapsing and people were struggling to make ends meet. I remember I thought, okay, our business is going down. Let me go and get a job. I have a degree. Let me put it to use, to good use. And I started applying for jobs, and there was this big manufacturing company, big company. It was actually close to where I live. So I applied for the job for the position that was open. It matched my qualifications specifically. And I said, Oh, this is clearly divine providence. And I prayed and I said, I gave all the reasons to God why I should get this job. I need to take care of my children. I serve you. I'll support your work. You know, all these things that we say. I went for the interview. It was a lot of us, by the way, but of all the people that I talked to, I felt like my credentials and my qualifications fit the job. I went in for the interview. I didn't think it went as bad, but as at the same time, I wasn't confident. But I was confident in the prayer, in God being in my corner and supporting me, that I thought, you know what? Even if I'm not the best, I prayed and I asked the Lord for this, and it's going to work out. One week went by, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, I didn't hear anything back until I said, you know what, let me call. I want to force them to let me know if I got the position, or if I didn't, at least let me know. So I called and they said, no, we we haven't come to a decision yet. And it was true because on the website, the position had not been filled because they are very quick to change the the status of the vacancy to filled if they found someone, as they usually do. And I saw that they hadn't changed it, so it was open. And I cried, I remember crying, saying, Lord, you know I need this job. You know I want to take care of my family. Fast forward three years later, after COVID, already pursuing what I'm supposed to pursue, what the Lord told me to pursue. I'm scrolling one day on the internet, and I find article after article of this company closing down. And this company was in a great deal of debt. They owed, they had many creditors, and they also owed their customers. And then they went out of business before they could repay all their customers' money. And this was just three years after. And I said, wow, had I not rerouted my desires and my vision, I was probably going to be aboard this sinking ship. And who knows, maybe I would have been implicated in whatever it is that happened over at that company. I just was grateful in that moment. He was able to see that way before. But I was disappointed because I thought, why am I not getting this job? But imagine now being part of this sinking ship. What was I going to do then? So he knew better. He knew, and everything worked together for my good. That disappointment of not getting the job, it worked together for my good. So, you know, the pain, the disappointment becomes very painful. Not only because what you were hoping for did not happen, not only because your marriage didn't work out, but it becomes more painful because that future that you had imagined for so long in your head also goes down along with the marriage. Maybe you imagine that five years down the line, you were going to have children, you were going to build a great empire together. So that picture you imagined, the empire is going down along with the marriage. The healing that you were convinced is going to happen immediately. As soon as I pray in faith, I'm going to be healed. That opportunity that you thought was going to work out, it's the imagination collapsing also that disappoints you. But I want you to understand today, remember, you're moving from baby faith to mature faith. And

Mature Faith And Even If He Doesn’t

SPEAKER_01 19:46

as you make the transition, you need to know that your relationship with God is not what we call formulaic. He's not predictable in the way that human systems are predictable. And they're not even as predictable. There is some mystery to him, there is transcendence to him. That's why we call him God. Because think about this. If we knew everything about him and there was no mystery to him, what would make him different from me, from anyone else? There are dimensions of his wisdom that you may never fully access from where you stand. And as a part of spiritual maturity, learning the difference between what God actually promised you. God promised me X, Y, and Z. You need to learn the difference between that and the story that you built in your head around that promise. Look at Abraham. He was promised. The Lord said to him, Go out there and look at those stars. Just like those stars, you're going to have as many children as the stars. He took him to the beach and he said, Look at the sand over here. That's how much, how many of your offspring are going to come out of you. But he had one son with his wife. One son, Isaac. So what you think in your head and what he's promising you, you need to leave room for that gap. Always. You need to leave room for disappointment. And that disappointment doesn't mean that God failed you by no means. It doesn't mean that he's not able. You just have to concede that my imagination has run away with me. And now I need to bring myself back to reality. Now, because you're here and you're listening, I strongly and sincerely believe that it is the Lord's desire that as you grow and become rooted in your relationship with Him, your faith matures along with your spiritual age. Because one of the signs of spiritual maturity is learning to trust God beyond outcomes, what we call childlike faith. Faith is a type of faith that believes God only when things unfold the way that we hoped. I want you to move from that childlike faith to a mature kind of faith, the kind of faith that learns to remain anchored, even when life becomes so difficult to understand. If you go to Daniel chapter 3, maybe from verse 16 thereabout, there's the story of the three Hebrew boys, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They had been taken captive into the Babylonian kingdom and were under the ancient foreign king called Nebuchadnezzar. And somewhere along the way, the king and his nobles and some of his officials devised a plan that he would build this statue and everyone would worship that image of him. Because these boys were Hebrew boys and they knew that we serve the God of Israel. We're not allowed to serve any other God because our God is a jealous God. So the punishment for their disobedience to the king was to be thrown into the furnace, and essentially they were sentenced to death. And I love these young boys' response to the king's terror and his threats. Not only his threats, but his condemnation. If you read chapter 3, verse 16 of the book of Daniel, this was their bold response. And I love it so much. Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied to him, King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we're thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from your majesty's hand. But even if he does not, that's what I want you to grasp right there. Even if he doesn't, we want you to know, your majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold that you have set up. Now that's mature faith, somebody. That is when your faith has become so saturated and so ripe that even the disappointments of life won't shake it. It's unrelenting. It's a faith that never wavers. What these boys were essentially saying was we trust God completely, but we will not reduce him to our preferred outcome. Even if he does not deliver us, he is still God. They expected deliverance, yes. There's nothing wrong with expecting God to do what you want. There's nothing wrong in your expectation. But while they expected God to deliver them, they also understood that God is sovereign, that his wisdom is higher than any human understanding. They understood that faith is not about controlling his response, but it's about remaining steadfast, regardless of what response that you get from him, is not conditional. They left room for disappointment. Many believers don't do that, they think it's a lack of faith, but it's just saying, Lord, just in case my expectations, my imagination is leading me astray, I still concede that you're still God. That's leaving room for disappointment. When you stop treating faith like it's a transaction, and you start treating it like it's about trust, you trust in his character, even though the outcome is different from what you thought you say, but no, his character, he's not a man that he would lie, and he's all-knowing and he's all powerful. When you stop believing only in what God can do for you, and you start resting in who he is, it's about who he is. I remember I had a family member that believed such a ridiculous rumor about me. And I was so angry, not about the rumor. I wasn't even angry at the person who said this to them. But I said to them, by now, after all these years, don't you know me? Don't you know my character? Would you really seriously believe, even if she had brought evidence to you, knowing my character, you should have known that there's no way I could have said this or done this to you. So that's the kind of mature faith that the Lord is looking for, that the Lord is hoping that you develop after listening to such a powerful message. He wants you to develop a faith that says, Lord, I know you're able. Can you handle that? But I prayed for reconciliation and the Lord delivered separation. Maybe you even prayed that scripture, Lord, you said in your word, all things work together for the good. All things work together, Lord, for good. And then your husband files for divorce. Are you mature enough to know that because I have prayed, I'm not going to take this as a tragedy in my life. I trust his character, he knows what's good for me. He says, For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, and plans to give you an expected end. But the problem is we want to define what that expected end is. We don't take his end, we want our end. And I want you to know that God's version of good may differ from yours, and you have to be okay with that. You cannot give him ultimatums all the time. I'm leaving. If you don't do this, I'm leaving. That's baby faith right there. That's my daughter, by the way, baby faith. That's child-like faith.

Job And Trust Without Answers

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Job learned this the hard way. If you read the book of Job, you realize that, of course, there was this meaning to his testing and the trials and tribulations that he went through were all known by God. But if you really read the book of Job, when Job is and is asking God, why did I lose everything? Why is this happening to me? I have tried my best to live an upright life, and I fear God and I despise evil. Why have I lost my fortune? Why have I lost my children? Why am I sick? I've lost my reputation in the land. And he's asking all these questions. What have I done? What have you known the normal questions of disappointment, of hurt? Instead of explanation, though, what he got was a revelation of God's sovereignty. He never received a direct explanation for his suffering. We know through revelation, through reading the scriptures, but he never knew. God reminds Job of the distance between the creator and his creation. And I'm not talking about distance when it comes to relationship, I mean distance in terms of thinking capacity, in terms of understanding. And some question remained unanswered. And you need to know that faith is not always sustained by explanation. That God be to tell me, tell me what's going on here. Your job is never to understand what you're going through. My advice to you is do your best to survive it. That's all you can do. Because according to God's character, all suffering, all the things that you're going through, they are supposed to work together for your good. So do your best to survive. Just make sure you survive so that you give an opportunity to his providence to work things out for your good. God is not a formula or a genie that you can just rub it anytime and he gives you a wish and you're happy, and it doesn't work like that. And I know that in modern Christianity, people don't like hearing this, but he doesn't owe humanity any explanation. That's the truth. Your relationship with God should never come with entitlement. Now, am I saying that he doesn't explain himself? Of course he does. But I'm saying if he chooses not to, that's his prerogative. And I think the danger is that modern Christianity overhumanizes God to make him your little buddy, that he's gonna tell me everything. He is miles and eons and eons away from you. You couldn't begin to understand him, even if he revealed everything of himself to you. There is a level of where he came down and tabernacled with us, and then he moved and he dwells in us today. But one thing you need to know: he is still sovereign, he is still God. God remains God even if we do not understand him. And a lot of times this makes people want to say, Oh, I can't serve such a God. I know a lot of people who say, God couldn't give me back my family, God couldn't save my business, or I'm done. I don't want to worship such a God. The God of the Old Testament seems to be very much of a tyrant. I don't like him. And they think, yeah, I'm I'm gonna walk away from him. But is that really in your in your best interest? If we're talking logically here, is that in your best interest? I mean, who needs who here? Is it the water that needs the fish or the fish that needs the water? Is it the firmament that needs the birds? Or the birds need the firmament to fly in. We are the ones who are in need of him. Not only are we bone of his bone, we are spirit of his spirit. It's impossible to survive outside of him, whether you like what he does or you don't, whether you understand him or you don't. Unless if you're saying you're not interested in him and his the benefits that he affords you, you're allowed to reject him. But I just want you to know it's not in your best interest. We are the ones that need him. He can live without us, but we can never live without him. And at some point when you don't understand, you need to surrender to the sovereignty of God. This is his world, and we are so fortunate to be in it. We are so privileged to be called his own. You heard the word that I used, privileged. We're not entitled to it. He invited us to his banquet. We were never meant to be there. If we stay in that humility, I don't think we will be in such disappointment all the time. Or I don't think it will be a threat to our relationship with God.

Three Ways To Handle Disappointment

SPEAKER_01 34:39

I want to give you a strategy on how to deal with disappointment because you're going to face disappointment in any relationship, not only your relationship with God, but I know it's very difficult because you assume your relationship with God because He is omniscient, He's omnipotent, He has all these attributes, immutability, He is above everyone. You expect that there shouldn't be any disappointment. But let me tell you how to deal with disappointment in a healthy way. Number one, you need to manage your expectations. Expectations need to be brought down, and you need to know that I can visualize what I want, but there is room that it won't come out exactly as I visualized it because his ways are not my ways. Pray honestly, let him know, but don't try to script his response. Tell him the exact type of life that you want. But if it doesn't come as you expected, don't go around being bitter, don't reject God. Always leave room, secondly. Leave room for mystery. Because I told you, God may act differently than what you expect. You need to trust his sovereignty, even without full understanding. That's the trust, that's the faith that you ought to have in him. And you can be honest during those moments that you don't understand that, Lord, I don't understand this. I don't know what's going on here. But I trust you. And I trust that you will never leave me nor forsake me. And lastly, I need you to keep your heart open. Never let disappointment harden your heart towards him. Never let expectations put a gap between you and your maker. Let that be the one relationship that you guard with everything that you have. Guard it from expectation, guarded from disappointment, guarded from lack of faith, guarded from any imagination that you have, because that's the most important thing.

Prayer And Closing Charge

SPEAKER_01 36:54

Now I want to pray for you today, our Heavenly Father, our Lord, our Savior. And we thank you for giving us such wisdom. We understand today that our expectations are human, but your ways are above our ways. And we face so many challenges and so many times where we feel disappointed in you because of our expectations. Come today, Lord, we pray. We want to move from childlike faith to a mature faith where even if things don't work out the way that we hoped, we will never forsake our relationship with you. I pray for everyone listening on, Lord, heal their hearts. Their hearts are broken in one way or the other because of disappointments and expectations. I pray for healing, not only healing of the heart, but healing of the mindset. Heal even our wisdom, our decision-making capacity so that we do make good decisions and we always leave room for you to move as the sovereign God that you are in Jesus' name. And thank you so much for listening. If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who needs it. If you can also do us a favor and follow us on all podcasting platforms, anywhere where you find your podcast, you can follow us there so that other people can get to benefit from this informative podcast. Now, this has been the Light of Life Podcast, and as usual, stay in the light.